Therapy In Shadow

Its amazing to me the issues that one has to face once their focus if off their core beliefs. Since the conversion from Christianity, slowly I have been seeing things in my life that need to change, things that were never addressed about myself an others. These moments come slowly. At first, your in a whirlwind of emotions and perspectives that you've never seen nor given the time of day. Its a truly exciting time. But after a while you become stagnant, just riding the boat to your next destination. Those destinations become further and further apart as we move downstream.

Our lives are like a journey down a river. This river has many stops along the way, points in our lives where we get out of the boat and experience the shore. My faith was like an anchor that has always been secured to the riverbed of a particular stop in my journey, tethered by an elastic line. No matter how far I went down the river, I always sprang right back to my anchor, and I could never pull it out of the water. When I moved away from my faith, I pulled up that anchor and started rowing. I rowed to make up for lost time I guess, feeling the glee of being able to move freely in the stream. I made various stops along the way to experience a portion of the life on the shore that I had never gotten to see. But my arms grew tired after a short amount of time, and I just began to ride the current. The river moves slowly. Sure there are portions of the river that narrow in focus and the water moves faster, but it always widens back out again picking up its usual pace.

Last night I made a stop along the shore that I would have never gotten to if I still had my anchor in the water. It was a fundamental moment and it was breathtaking, much farther downstream then I had realized. I have come to know that I have an issue that is so consuming, that I need the help of members of my family to properly resolve it. This will be an intervention that I have pushed away for too long and I hope it goes well. It will be some time before it happens as I need to seek council with people in my life. But, it will happen in its time. For now I, for the first time, willingly put my anchor at this stop to return. I willingly bear this burden.